Johnny Remember Me (Trans at art class)
I don’t exactly know what, Mrs Farquhar and the new lady were talking about, but when I heard the old bag with straggly grey hair whisper, “the biggest cock I’ve ever seen.” – it made me think of, Billy Benson being clever talking about packs of three while we sat and smoked in the school bike sheds in ’98.
Anyway, I just fluttered my lashes and crossed my legs. I looked around the room to see what old man Herbert was doing. He’d just taken a swig of milky coffee and not realised a skin had formed, it kinda twanged back in slow motion and snapped onto his soup encrusted beard. I stifled a full blown laugh out loud moment.
Next to him, meddling Martha was stood at her easel trying to rake her knickers out of her crevice. She’d given herself a wedgy climbing down from her stool silly old bat.
Before the break for coffee, I had a wander round the room to have a glance at the paintings to see how they were all getting on. To be fair, Herbert had done an excellent job on my tits apart from the nipples, they looked more like poached eggs.
Lanky Major Watson-Hive’s good eye was on fire at one point during the first sitting, he had his thumb up in front of his marble one, god knows what that was all about. I noticed he was fiddling with his crotch at one point during the coffee break, he told me it was his new Tweeds that had been chafing.
I honestly don’t know who these old fuckers think they’re kidding when they come to art class. It’s all too obvious they’re either hoping for a boner or to see if the models have the same amount of orange peel on their thighs as they have.
I’d had my hair done specially for the occasion, “Give them all a little bit further peculiarity to think about, a bit more perspective,” Mrs Farquhar had said. Well, I wasn’t bothered she paid for it. Who was I to argue?
As the session ended, Mrs Farquhar had deemed, Cedric Bottomly’s effort the best of the night. Summing up she said, “I like the way in which, Cedric’s shadow strokes have caught the limp penis just right. So, once again can we thank, Geraldine in the usual way.”